Q:I'm sure you already know that writing is fucking hard. I've hit a block with my favourite cast of cultivated & developed characters - in the form of having 8 full notebooks about them and what happens to them, but no causation-type sensible storyline to speak of. I only have certain events. I'm going crazy and it's crippling my self-esteem. I feel like I'm failing my characters. It's damn hard. Any advice?
Take a break. Cheat on your project with another quickie project. Some little wham-bam fling experiment that could break open your narrative voice. Writing is like sex, if it’s difficult you’re not doing it right.
Also, ask yourself, “What would make this fun, again?” Also, you look very young. Please don’t burn yourself out with self-imposed pressure. Don’t wreck your passion by expecting too much too soon. Tom S always says, “If you’re writing in order to ( get rich, get respect, get laid, etc. ) you should not be writing.” You should write because you love the process. He also says, “The longer you can be with the incomplete thing, the better it will ultimately be.” The whole mess might crystalize into a masterpiece at any moment.
"I am grateful for the nights he holds me while I cry for hours for no reason. I am thankful that he puts up with my random periods of irritability. He constantly attempts to comfort me if I am suddenly uncomfortable when we’re out in public. He fills me with hope for the future when I lead myself down the darkest of paths, plays with my hair when I’m having trouble sleeping, and encourages me to eat when I have no appetite. He takes care of me and I never even had to explain myself…I often think about how lucky I am to be loved, regardless of my flaws in chemistry."
Photo by me; Text taken from here.
“…Then, one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…you give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.” –Rose Walker in The Sandman: The Kindly Ones (Neil Gaiman)
Maybe you’re not built for this whole relationship-you-belong-to-another-person shit any more. You are head over heels in love with him, but you also miss being a separate entity who doesn’t answer to anyone else, and who belongs only to yourself.
During my flight back home to Manila yesterday, our plane spent around 30 minutes hovering above south of Manila because of “air traffic” (whatever that means). Then I met this dude, Aiken, who was seated at my back. A cute, hyper, Waray-waray kid (who kept kicking the back of my seat, by the way, haha). We were probably the most bored passengers in the plane. Although I speak only broken Waray, we were able to entertain each other (and I’m glad his grandma didn’t mind), then we watched the sunset together. At the end of the flight, he said “Thank you.” Hyper yet polite little kid. Just like me. Charot.
Summer in Yolanda Village. Massive cargo ships “invaded” the seaside village of Brgy. 68, Tacloban, Leyte, during last November’s Haiyan. They now call their barangay “Yolanda Village.”
- Anna: Why are you wasting (Alice's) time?
- Dan: You're judgmental.
- Anna: You're devious.
- Dan: I'm not wasting her time. She's completely lovable and completely unleavable.
- Anna: And you don't want someone else getting his dirty hands on her? Men are crap.
- Dan: We're all the same.
- Anna: You're still crap.
This has been an exhausting week (physically, emotionally), and so a promise: this is going to be me this weekend. I have a sleep mask, so I just need those ear plugs.